Fammin Basics: Being Trans-Parent

This is a post that is part of a blog series called “Fammin Basics”  To check out the other posts click here!

Being Trans-Parent

I taught a parenting class with my wife recently and we thought it went really well.  I was surprised by the comment we heard most from people that took the class.  I often heard the words “you guys were so real!”  I have to be honest, that statement kind of shocked me…it was almost like the people that took the class were expecting me to be fake…ok maybe not fake, but definitely not as forthcoming about the way our home works…

Then it hit me, so many of us want to be viewed as a solid leader to our church that we fail to show the people our own humanity.  Here is a news flash folks…you don’t have to be perfect…your church shouldn’t expect you to be perfect (if they do then RUN in the other direction…)  When we are real with the people we serve and show our struggles and humanity it does many things, here are a few…

1.  It allows people to connect with you.  When people you are ministering to know that you are a human too complete with struggles and flaws it actually will draw them closer to you.  People today aren’t looking for a role model so much as they are looking for someone who understands.  If you paint yourself as “struggle-less” then people don’t think you would understand.

2.  Makes you less intimidating to others.  Lets be honest, being a ministry leader (especially a pastor) can be intimidating to some people that are newer to church.  If you want to be approachable, show your humanity to people.  One more thing…intimidation does not equal conviction…you will never be holy enough to convict people so stop trying.

3.  Being open about yourself will reduce stress in your life.  When you show that you are a real person you will feel better.  We weren’t designed to hide things about our life.  Less stress also means less room for failure in our ministry.

Overall, be real with the people you minister to.  From a Family Ministry perspective parents will be really interested in what you have to say when they know that you understand their spot in life.

-JM

this post first appeared at joemcalpine.com

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